Chapter 23.
“If you want to rebel, know that the mind is the first enemy that you must overcome.” — Paulo Coelho
We often think of power as something wielded by external forces—governments, corporations, or other large institutions. But there is a far more insidious form of power at play: the power we unknowingly give away, and the subtle ways we contribute to disempowering those around us. These mechanisms of self-inflicted disempowerment stem from psychological and social factors that perpetuate cycles of dysfunction. To understand these dynamics, we will draw on insights from the Power Threat Meaning Framework (PTMF) , which helps us see “dysfunction” not as an inherent flaw, but as an understandable set of responses to the pervasive operation of power and the threats it poses.
A chilling illustration of how easily situational power can corrupt and lead to disempowerment is the Stanford Prison Experiment. This demonstrates how readily individuals can adopt and internalise destructive roles, revealing that dysfunction is not solely the product of flawed individuals, but a systemic outcome of the dynamics between people and the power structures they inhabit. This corruption is also revealed in the Stanley Milgram experiment, which showed how ordinary people can become complicit in harm under the influence of an authority figure. Milgram introduced the concept where individuals see themselves not as acting on their own accord, but as mere agents carrying out the wishes of an external authority. This psychological surrender is a form of disempowerment, as it allows people to abdicate personal responsibility and moral judgment. The experiment reveals a fundamental societal dysfunction: the potential for collective harm when individuals surrender their autonomy to authority, transforming their own moral judgment into a threat response.
This surrender of autonomy is amplified by dysfunctional personal beliefs and social structures. The axiom that “power corrupts” is more than a political warning; it describes the devastating self-destruction that happens when an individual’s inner world runs up against outside influence, whether real or imagined. The necessity of concealing one’s true identity (e.g., pretending they agree with a deeply religious family) is the ruin of the honesty needed for self-authorship. The deceit, while designed to protect against the threat of being cast out, deeply damages the inner self, as the individual chooses to respect the forceful authority of the outside group over the strength of their authentic self. This creates a draining burden on the mind, wearing down self-worth and soaking up the mental energy needed for reflection and growth, causing the loss of the ability to act out of fear.
The complementary dysfunction is our complementary dysfunction—entitlement, the corruption of the principle that reward should be earned. It is a fundamental distortion that initially presents as a bonus—a feeling of a right to success or possessions—but is, in fact, an inevitable curse of moral failure. This belief is often tied to perceptions of class, where individuals begin to believe their position grants them privilege and exemption from common standards. This Power of Unearned Status is the toxic social script that justifies demands and, at the same time, avoidance of effort. The curse is realised when this entitlement destroys the intrinsic need for diligence and effort, replacing it with the disbelief that surfaces when reality fails to conform to their demands. This rigid demand fuels the dysfunction of bullying. The bully acts out of a belief they are owed dominance and seeks to enforce a perceived social hierarchy when challenged. Their entitlement is the rationale that justifies this coercion, preventing them from cultivating the authentic strength required for true self-worth.
The true tragedy of this system is that both the entitled and the victim end up suffering. For the entitled bully, the curse is a form of self-imprisonment: they lose their moral compass, corrupting their sense of right and wrong, and their constant rigidity isolates them from authentic human connection. They are trapped by their need for external validation. For the victim, the suffering is the loss of agency and the pain of fear. These dysfunctions prove that corruption begins with the individual’s decision to surrender honesty, effort, and responsibility, demonstrating how access to power, whether genuine or perceived, invariably comes with a debilitating price if not corrected.
The dynamic between bullying and victimhood is a fundamental aspect of disempowerment. Bullying is an exertion of coercive power. As Jennifer Hancock illuminates in The Bully Vaccine , the bully, often driven by their own fears, seeks to establish dominance by instilling fear in others. This is an example of power creating a direct threat to the target’s well-being and autonomy. The target’s response—passive acceptance, fear of retaliation, or learned helplessness—becomes their threat response. This behaviour, where victims contribute to their own disempowerment, stems from the meaning they make of the situation: a belief that they have no control. Hancock argues that “The key to not being a bully’s next victim is to take away their power by not being afraid of them”. This is not about blame, but about understanding the interplay between the disempowering action and the reaction, and recognising that reclaiming personal agency is possible by changing the meaning one makes of the situation.
When individuals face feelings of powerlessness, their threat responses often manifest as various forms of escapism. Excessive social media use, substance abuse, gambling, or reckless financial schemes offer temporary relief but ultimately erode a sense of agency and control. These behaviours represent a surrender of personal power, serving as an attempt to cope with perceived threats to well-being, even if they exacerbate the underlying problem. In unhealthy relationships, codependency creates a destructive power dynamic where one person sacrifices their needs to cater to another, creating an imbalance of power and hindering both individuals’ ability to thrive. This shows how relational power can lead to individuals making the meaning that their needs are secondary, and responding by sacrificing themselves.
The insidious ways we disempower ourselves often extend beyond individual fears or one-on-one toxic dynamics. The architecture of our social connections—or their absence—can become a silent force of disempowerment. When genuine, supportive networks are neglected or fail to form, individuals face isolation, a direct threat to their sense of belonging and agency. In response to this void, people may gravitate towards escapist behaviours that offer temporary solace but ultimately surrender personal power. A failure to cultivate diverse connections can leave individuals trapped within insular “echo chambers”. This intellectual confinement starves minds of varied perspectives, reinforces existing biases, and hinders the critical thinking necessary to resist manipulation. When networking devolves into a purely transactional pursuit, it erodes trust and can lead to relationships of exploitation. As explored by Robert Cialdini in Influence , the dynamics of unethical persuasion transform into mechanisms of disempowerment, where one person’s autonomy is undermined under the guise of connection.
Beyond individual interactions, ideological power plays a role in perpetuating disempowerment. Freud’s concept of the “narcissism of minor differences” describes our tendency to define identity by contrasting ourselves with others, often leading to the dehumanisation of those perceived as “different”—a process of “othering”. This allows us to project insecurities onto others, bolstering our own fragile sense of self and justifying discriminatory behavior. Brené Brown, in Daring Greatly , explores the connection between vulnerability and disempowerment. Brown argues that our fear of vulnerability often drives us to engage in disempowering behaviours. We erect defences like numbing emotions and perfectionism. These are threat responses to the perceived threat of vulnerability, leading to disconnection, shame, and further disempowerment. Susan Jeffers, in Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway , offers another perspective on fear’s contribution to disempowerment. Jeffers contends that fear itself isn’t the problem, but our reaction to it. Her core message is about changing our relationship to fear and reclaiming personal power by altering our meaning-making around it.
The process of disempowerment often begins in systemic power structures. Paulo Freire, in Pedagogy of the Oppressed , exposes how the “banking model” of education stifles critical thinking and agency. This form of disempowerment subtly trains individuals to accept their lot, leaving them feeling voiceless and powerless to shape their destinies. David Foster Wallace reminds us in This Is Water , that we possess a power to choose how we perceive and respond to the world, even within disempowering systems. Bell hooks, in Feminist Theory: From Margin to Center , takes this further by illuminating how various systems of oppression—sexism, racism, classism—intersect to create compounded experiences of disempowerment. Judith Herman, in Trauma and Recovery , reveals the devastating impact of trauma on an individual’s sense of power and control.
It is crucial to recognise how societal structures perpetuate disempowerment. Responding to public pressure, societies often create “convenient places for inconvenient people”—institutions like prisons and mental institutions. We often disempower ourselves by buying into a victim mentality. This victim mentality is closely related to learned helplessness, where individuals believe they have no control, even when opportunities for change exist. Johann Hari’s Chasing the Scream suggests addiction is not a moral failing but a response to a lack of meaningful connection—a deep-seated threat response to social isolation.
The dysfunctions plaguing our personal lives and societies are not simply imposed by external forces. They are also the result of our own choices, fears, and disavowal of personal responsibility—how we respond to the power dynamics and threats we face. From the subtle ways we diminish ourselves and others to the grand societal systems that perpetuate inequality, the power to change resides within us. By acknowledging our capacity for both harm and healing, and understanding these processes through the lens of power, threat, meaning, and response, we can begin to dismantle the cycles of disempowerment and cultivate a more just and compassionate world.
Next Chapter: Transcendent: New Habits, New You
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