Increasingly uncomfortable with labels
There is a sense of belonging that accompanies being in a group. Feeling safer and nurtured by likeminded people. It’s very seductive. And it’s generally the norm. It’s part of formulating our ideas of our sense of identity. This sense, encompassing our memories, experiences, relationships, and values, creates a relatively steady perception of who we are over time (Psychology Today on Identity).
The group has an identity. We help in defining it as much as it defines us. It evolves. We are rooted in the stories of its past. They are our foundation. And that is also the problem. How can we criticise the group without undermining ourselves? Though this is frequently sidestepped by forming a new group it doesn’t resolve the dilemma of the group. Also there is the problem that by identifying an ‘us’ you have created a ‘them’ with all the possibilities of polarity and animosity. Where to criticise is to be a traitor.
People relate to their groups with varying intensities and at different times. Why is this? Perhaps it’s the dilemma I find in my life, trying to balance the apparently conflicting needs of security and individuality. My own personal guide to such a dilemma is a mantra formulated over many years: Stability without stagnation – Change without chaos But how can that be translated to group identity? How does it resolve the possibilities of conflict?
The labels that give comfort and grief are vegan, gay and humanist. Is that even the correct order? What is the hierarchy? I value using them to give a quick view of aspects of who I am. Yet at the same time I cringe when being challenged to defend people who also use these labels. This discomfort, this internal friction, speaks to the limitations inherent in any label. As Dr. Melanie Joy explores in her work on inter-group dynamics, particularly in Beyond Beliefs: A Guide to Improving Relationships and Communication for Vegans, Vegetarians, and Meat Eaters (https://carnism.org/book/beyond-beliefs/), labels can foster an “us vs. them” mentality, creating artificial divides where shared humanity should prevail. Joy’s work, while focused on dietary choices, offers profound insights into the challenges of communicating across belief systems. As she notes, “Vegans, vegetarians, and meat eaters can feel like they’re living in different worlds,” a sentiment that echoes across countless social categories. This sense of separation can make defending a label feel like defending an entire, potentially flawed, tribe.
This inherent discomfort with labels is further illuminated by sociological perspectives, particularly labeling theory. This theory, a cornerstone of social constructionism, posits that societal labels, especially negative ones, can significantly influence an individual’s self-concept and behavior. When a group or individual is consistently labeled in a certain way – ‘radical vegan,’ ‘intolerant gay activist,’ or ‘dogmatic humanist’ – they may begin to internalize that label. This internalization can lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy, where individuals unconsciously or consciously act in ways that align with the imposed label, further reinforcing the ‘us vs. them’ dynamic. The very act of categorizing creates an ‘in-group’ and an ‘out-group,’ fostering a sense of difference and potentially animosity, as those within the label feel compelled to defend the boundaries of their identity against perceived threats from the ‘other.’ You can explore more about labeling theory on platforms like Wikipedia’s page on Labeling Theory.
Another aspect of our lives is beliefs. I grew up in rural Cornwall, steeped in the Methodist tradition. This provided a framework, a community, a set of shared values that shaped my early understanding of the world and my place within it. There was a comfort in this familiarity, a sense of belonging woven into the very fabric of my upbringing. However, as an adult, my intellectual curiosity led me to explore different beliefs and traditions, expanding my understanding of human experience and the diverse ways people find meaning.
These explorations, while enriching, often added to my inner conflict, particularly concerning my burgeoning understanding of being gay. The prevailing interpretations within the religious tradition of my youth often stood in stark opposition to my sexual orientation. This created a profound internal dissonance, a chasm between the acceptance I found within my faith community and the undeniable reality of my own identity. The implicit message was clear: in order to be fully accepted, to truly belong within that foundational group, I had to deny a fundamental aspect of who I was sexually. This demand for self-denial, this forced choice between two core parts of myself, highlights the exclusionary potential inherent in rigid group identities and the profound personal cost of such uncompromising boundaries. The psychological impact of such internal conflict on identity formation, the complex process of developing a clear and unique view of oneself (Wikipedia on Identity Formation), is significant. The need to reconcile conflicting aspects of the self can lead to considerable internal stress and a fractured sense of self.
I wish I had become vegan sooner but I didn’t get there by someone wagging a finger at me. I became increasingly troubled by the consequences of what I was doing. I don’t want to swap that for a confrontation with the rest of society. This reluctance highlights the double-edged nature of labels. While they can offer a sense of belonging within a group, they can also create barriers and fuel antagonism with those outside it. As Joy argues, “relationship and communication breakdown among vegans, vegetarians, and meat eaters is not inevitable, and it is reversible. With the right tools, healthy connections can be cultivated, repaired, and even strengthened.” 1 This principle extends beyond dietary choices, emphasizing the need for conscious effort in bridging divides created by any form of labeling.
Adding another layer to this unease is the understanding that our identities are not fixed entities but are, to a significant extent, socially constructed. This perspective, prominent in sociology, argues that our understanding of ourselves and others is shaped through social interactions, cultural norms, and historical contexts. What it means to be ‘vegan,’ ‘gay,’ or ‘humanist’ is not static but evolves over time and across different societies. This inherent fluidity of identity clashes with the often rigid and simplifying nature of labels. To be confined to a single label can feel like denying the multifaceted and ever-changing reality of who we are. Our individual experiences and interpretations of these labels will invariably differ, making the act of defending a monolithic group identity feel increasingly inauthentic. You can delve deeper into the concept of social construction of identity through resources like this overview from Easy Sociology.
Another aspect of myself that I was late to accept was being gay. I tried desperately to be straight. This personal struggle underscores the point that identity is often a complex and evolving process, one that resists the rigid confines of pre-defined categories. Labels, while sometimes offering solace and recognition, can also feel like an imposition, a demand for conformity that clashes with the fluid reality of individual experience. The discomfort arises when the label, meant to simplify understanding, instead creates a cage, limiting the expression of a multifaceted self. As Joy poignantly observes, Beyond Beliefs “gently melts the bars of the cages which we erect around our beliefs,” a sentiment that resonates deeply with the struggle to reconcile personal truth with the limitations of societal categories. Understanding the psychology of labels (Psychology Tools on Labeling) reveals how these cognitive shortcuts can lead to overgeneralizations and negatively impact both self-perception and our understanding of others.
Ultimately, our relationship with labels is a complex one. They can provide a much-needed sense of belonging, a quick identifier in a complex world, and a foundation for shared values and action. However, the discomfort we increasingly feel stems from a growing awareness of their limitations. Labels can oversimplify complex realities, foster division, and stifle individual expression. Moving forward, perhaps the key lies in embracing labels with a degree of mindful awareness – recognizing their utility while remaining critically aware of their potential pitfalls. We can value the sense of community they offer without demanding absolute conformity or allowing them to become barriers to understanding and empathy. The mantra of ‘stability without stagnation – change without chaos’ might then apply not just to personal identity but to our collective understanding of the categories we inhabit: allowing for evolution and individual interpretation within a framework of shared connection, without succumbing to rigid dogma or hostile divisions
1. www.veganadvocacy.org www.veganadvocacy.org
