Chapter 23.
Mea Culpa. It’s a confession. Not just of past missteps, but of a human tendency: the illusion that growth is a destination, not a journey. We often find ourselves fighting the same battles, both individually and collectively, simply because we’ve chosen to rest on our laurels. A moment of triumph, a lesson learned, or a challenge overcome can too easily lull us into a dangerous complacency, convincing us that the work is done. But life, in its most fundamental sense, demands an unyielding engagement; it’s a journey more like swimming upstream. Stop, and all is undone. Without this continuous effort, stagnation, and ultimately decay, are inevitable. The same is true for our personal lives: if you are not growing, you are decaying. This chapter delves into the power of self-honesty as the relentless commitment required to break this cycle and drive forward meaningful change.
Self-honesty compels us to confront a foundational illusion: there are no such things as innate rights. The very concept of a ‘right’ can be misleading if viewed as an eternal entitlement. As the philosopher Jeremy Bentham critiqued in works like Anarchical Fallacies, claims of “natural rights” are often “nonsense upon stilts.” For Bentham, rights are not gifts from nature; they are legal constructs that gain validity only when backed by the power of collective will, enshrined in law, and enforced by institutions. The moment that validating power falters, the ‘right’ becomes fragile, a mere aspiration.
This fragility is demonstrated in the ongoing global struggles for fundamental liberties, particularly for LGBTQ+ individuals. Battles for recognition and equality must be fought repeatedly. The constant need to re-assert, defend, and protect what was seemingly established proves that rights are never truly won once and for all. They are active projects demanding continuous engagement. This is not merely a theoretical concern; history is marked with examples of hard-won freedoms being eroded when vigilance falters. Following the Civil War, constitutional advances for African Americans were rolled back by systemic disenfranchisement and Jim Crow laws. This backsliding often occurs not through sudden events, but through gradual civic apathy. When citizens cease to organise and advocate, the space for regression opens, proving that the price of liberty is eternal vigilance.
This same principle extends to our internal landscapes. We mistakenly believe that once a virtue is cultivated or a bad habit overcome, it’s etched permanently into our character. We may declare a triumph and then, without conscious vigilance, slowly slip back into old patterns. This passive acceptance of stagnation allows our personal virtues to dull and our hard-won wisdom to fade. Personal growth, like physical life, demands continuous nourishment through active effort. As James Clear details in Atomic Habits, consistent small efforts drive long-term growth, while a lack of such sustained engagement inevitably leads to decline. If we do not actively choose engagement, the default state is erosion.
This is where the power of self-honesty becomes indispensable. To find ourselves fighting the same battles repeatedly is a clear signal that we have, at some point, ceased to be truly honest with ourselves about our present state. Self-honesty is the courageous act of looking unflinchingly at our current reality, acknowledging our vulnerabilities, and recognising that even the most ingrained habits require continuous tending. It is the crucial ‘taking stock’ that prevents the insidious creep of complacency and the onset of decay. The work of authors like Brad Blanton in Radical Honesty argues that much personal suffering stems from self-deception, positioning truth as the ultimate liberator and source of personal power.
The concept of a ‘Repentant Man’ is not limited to apologising for past wrongs. It signifies a continuous, humble acknowledgement of one’s own human fallibility and the inherent need for ongoing effort and growth. This ‘repentance’ is a constant turning towards honest self-assessment. This honesty is, in itself, a source of power, stripping away self-deception and revealing the true ground upon which genuine progress can be built. A modern embodiment of this principle can be found in the accessible philosophy of Stoicism, as popularised by authors like Ryan Holiday. The ‘Repentant Man’ understands that success is an inflection point where ego often becomes the enemy, tempting us to abandon the humility and diligence that led to achievement. Holiday’s works, such as The Obstacle Is the Way, demonstrate how embracing challenges and maintaining an unwavering focus on what is within one’s control are essential for navigating the continuous journey of self-improvement.
Just as the sustenance of external rights demands a continuous reapplication of collective power—through civil society organisations, unions, lobbying, and tireless advocacy, a point reinforced by thinkers like Alexis de Tocqueville in Democracy in America and the later analyses of Robert Putnam in Bowling Alone—so too does the sustenance of personal growth demand a constant reapplication of inner power. This internal power is the disciplined exercise of self-awareness, renewed commitment, and conscious choice. This relentless effort, however, is not a mindless grind. It requires the stillness and clarity to honestly assess our progress, refine our path, and avoid the frantic busyness that often masks a lack of purpose. In these battles, working with others provides more than just strength in numbers; it offers vital feedback for refining strategies and the mutual sustenance that helps to maintain resolve when individual efforts falter.
To sustain this ongoing effort, an indomitable spirit is required. This spirit is perhaps best captured by the timeless phrase: “Illegitimi non carborundum”—Don’t let the bastards grind you down. This aphorism embodies the refusal to accept decay, the unwavering commitment to self-honesty, and the determination to persist in the face of both internal complacency and external opposition. It is the very attitude that fuels the constant reapplication of power. In all this talk of continuous struggle, it is vital to remind ourselves why we embark upon this journey. We assert these rights, we make these goals, we commit to this relentless swimming upstream, not for the sake of effort alone, but for dignity, equality, and justice. We strive for a fairer, more compassionate society, and for a personal existence defined by self-actualisation, purpose, and integrity. These values are the ultimate nourishment, the very reason the fight is worth maintaining. The work of the Repentant Man, therefore, is unending; it is the daily testament to our capacity for growth, our commitment to truth, and our collective responsibility to forge a future that consistently strives for its highest ideals.
Next Chapter: Transcendent: New Habits, New You
Bibliography
Bentham, Jeremy. Anarchical Fallacies.
Blanton, Brad. Radical Honesty.
Clear, James. Atomic Habits.
Duckworth, Angela. Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. Scribner, 2016.
Ericsson, K. Anders, and Robert Pool. Peak: Secrets from the New Science of Expertise. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2016.
Frankl, Viktor. Man’s Search for Meaning. Beacon Press, 1946.
Holiday, Ryan. The Obstacle Is the Way. Portfolio, 2014.
Holiday, Ryan. Ego Is the Enemy. Portfolio, 2016.
Holiday, Ryan. Stillness Is the Key. Portfolio, 2019.
Putnam, Robert D. Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community.
Tocqueville, Alexis de. Democracy in America.