Chapter 21.
We navigate the world not solely through objective realities, but through the intricate and often invisible lens of our attitude. This internal posture, a dynamic interplay between our spontaneous feelings and our consciously held values, holds an often underestimated power over our experiences. It colours our perceptions, shapes our reactions, and ultimately dictates the trajectory of our lives. Attitude is not merely a passive emotional state; it is an active force, a self-fulfilling prophecy that can either illuminate our path forward or cast long shadows across our potential.
This concept is explored in Viktor Frankl’s work, Man’s Search for Meaning, where he recounts his experiences in Nazi concentration camps and observes that those who maintained a sense of purpose and a positive attitude towards the future were more likely to survive. Building on this, the existential psychologist Rollo May emphasised the role of will and choice in shaping our response to life’s challenges. For May, will is not merely willpower, but a conscious intentionality—a directedness towards a future shaped by our values. This orientation allows us to form intentions and move towards them, providing a counterweight to reactive feelings. This freedom to choose brings with it an unavoidable anxiety—the natural discomfort of confronting life’s uncertainties and the responsibility for our choices. May argued that personal growth involves the courage to face this anxiety constructively, rather than allowing fear to lead to avoidance or neurosis. As Susan Jeffers would say in her book, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, this means we should act despite our fear. Our attitude becomes a testament to our courageous use of freedom, aligning our inner state with our deepest convictions despite external pressures.
Consider the act of encountering a setback. One individual, with a resilient and optimistic attitude, might view this obstacle as a temporary detour and a learning opportunity. This aligns with the principles espoused in Carol S. Dweck’s Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, which highlights the power of a “growth mind-set”—the belief that abilities can be developed through hard work. Another individual, with a pessimistic attitude, might perceive the same setback as insurmountable evidence of their inadequacy. They may succumb to feelings of helplessness. Their attitude, in this instance, acts as an inhibitor, stifling their initiative and making it less likely they will seek solutions. This contrast underscores the importance of cultivating a positive mental attitude, a theme central to Norman Vincent Peale’s The Power of Positive Thinking. This fundamental difference in attitude permeates every aspect of our lives.
In our relationships, a positive and empathetic attitude fosters connection, understanding, and resilience in the face of conflict. It allows us to see the best in others and to build stronger bonds. A negative or judgmental attitude, on the other hand, breeds distrust, resentment, and isolation. This judgmental stance often arises when we allow feelings—such as insecurity or fear—to overshadow values like empathy and compassion. Instead of seeking to connect, judgment creates distance. As Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends & Influence People teaches, a positive and genuinely interested attitude is key to building strong interpersonal connections. In our professional lives, a proactive and growth-oriented attitude fosters learning, creativity, and a willingness to embrace challenges. It makes us more adaptable and collaborative. A negative attitude, by contrast, creates friction with colleagues and limits opportunities. Skills are important, but a positive attitude often acts as the catalyst that unlocks their full potential, as Keith Harrell’s Attitude is Everything: 10 Life-Changing Steps to Turning Attitude into Action powerfully illustrates.
Even in the face of adversity, the power of attitude remains undeniable. Individuals who maintain a sense of hope and resilience amidst difficult circumstances demonstrate a remarkable ability to cope, to find meaning, and to emerge stronger. As research from Martin Seligman suggests, optimism is a skill that can be cultivated and plays a role in resilience and well-being. It is important to recognise that attitude is not an immutable trait. While some individuals may naturally lean towards a more optimistic disposition, our attitude is also shaped by our experiences, our beliefs, and our conscious choices. We have the capacity to cultivate a more positive attitude through conscious effort, by focusing on gratitude (as explored in Shawn Achor’s The Happiness Advantage) or practising mindfulness, and by reframing negative thoughts.
The attitude of the individual is inextricably linked to the prevailing attitudes of the society in which that individual is embedded. Societal attitudes—the shared beliefs, values, and norms of a community—exert an influence on the development and expression of individual attitudes. This dynamic is a reciprocal one, with individual attitudes also contributing to the broader societal landscape. In a community where respect for others is widely held, individuals are more likely to internalise these values. In contrast, in a society where disrespect is prevalent, individuals may find it challenging to cultivate a sense of respect. The power of social norms highlights how individuals conform their attitudes to align with what is perceived as acceptable. An individual’s ambition to learn is influenced by societal attitudes towards education and intellectual curiosity. In societies that celebrate knowledge, individuals are more likely to develop a positive attitude towards acquiring new skills. The work ethic is also intertwined with societal attitudes. In societies that prize productivity, individuals are more likely to develop a strong work ethic, a concept discussed by Max Weber in The Protestant Ethic and the Spirit of Capitalism. The relationship between individual attitude and societal attitudes is not unidirectional. Social movements, driven by individuals with strong convictions, can challenge existing societal attitudes and pave the way for new values.
In contrast to individuals who may succumb to a sense of helplessness, there exists a powerful testament to the resilience of the human spirit in the attitudes of veterans who rebuild their lives after experiencing tragedy in combat. This dichotomy highlights the impact of attitude in shaping life’s trajectory. Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning provides a lens to understand this contrast, highlighting how the choice of one’s attitude in the face of extreme suffering can be the ultimate freedom and a catalyst for survival. Their proactive attitude allows them to channel their experiences into positive action, whether through advocacy or simply living each day with gratitude. This ability to reframe their trauma not as a definitive end but as a catalyst for growth stands as a validation of the transformative power of a positive attitude.
Personal pride is linked to a positive attitude towards oneself and one’s achievements. It is the feeling of satisfaction that arises from recognising one’s own worth. Healthy pride is essential for self-esteem, but it must be distinguished from hubris, which is excessive pride or arrogance. Civic pride is a related concept that refers to the positive attitude and sense of belonging that individuals feel towards their community or nation. It is the feeling of satisfaction and connection that arises from recognising the positive aspects of one’s society. Civic pride can foster a sense of unity and a desire to contribute to the common good. Like personal pride, civic pride should be grounded in a realistic perspective and not blind individuals to the challenges or injustices that may exist within their society.
The cultivation of a positive attitude is often lauded as a key to success, but it is important to acknowledge the necessity of moderation. An attitude, however beneficial, should not calcify into an unyielding obsession. The relentless pursuit of a singular positive mindset can lead to its own forms of stress and dissatisfaction, blinding us to the validity of other emotional states. The greatest strength lies not in constant striving but in the ability to seek and find contentment in the present moment, accepting what is rather than perpetually striving for what could be. This perspective is beautifully articulated in Thich Nhat Hanh’s The Miracle of Mindfulness, which emphasizes the power of present moment awareness. Mark Williams and Danny Penman’s Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Finding Peace in a Frantic World underscores the value of non-judgmental observation of our internal landscape.
Cultivating negative and unproductive attitudes often stems from an individual’s prioritisation of certain feelings over their deeper values. If someone prioritises deceitfulness and manipulation, it inevitably fosters an attitude of distrust. A focus on greed breeds an attitude of entitlement. If intolerance and prejudice are given precedence, they cultivate attitudes of hostility and division. In essence, the qualities we allow our feelings to prioritise mould our attitudes and, consequently, the nature of our relationships. When individuals actively value and cultivate positive qualities, it naturally fosters beneficial attitudes. Prioritising kindness and generosity leads to a willingness to help others, while a focus on courage and perseverance breeds an attitude of resilience. The positive qualities we choose to value directly shape our attitudes, fostering stronger relationships and a more positive contribution to the world.
The various qualities we value as individuals and society include discretion, honesty, loyalty, tenacity, and tolerance. On a more interpersonal level, courtesy, an even-tempered nature, and being a team player are essential. Other qualities that are widely respected include intelligence, creativity, empathy, resilience, self-awareness, and integrity. And arguably, compassion holds a primary place. Our individual attitudes are deeply personal, but they are also reflections of the societal context in which we live. Cultivating positive individual attitudes such as respect and a thirst for knowledge is not only beneficial for personal growth but also contributes to the development of a more positive society as a whole. Recognising this interconnectedness underscores the importance of fostering positive attitudes at both the individual and the societal level, creating a virtuous cycle of growth, respect, and shared progress.
Next Chapter: Health: A Holistic Approach
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